Friday, September 21, 2007

Sizing Up Real Beauty: Is Our Narrow Definition of Beauty Downsizing Our Creative Potential?

By Linda S. Wallace

The next time somebody blogs that Britney Spears or Tyra Banks is fat, let us gently remind them that beauty, like so many hot topics in life, is mostly a reflection of the cultural beliefs of the beholder.

So let’s invite those who seek to impose a narrow standard of physical beauty upon us to consider this view: Our personal description of beauty says a lot about our preferences and only a little about the other person’s physical attributes.

Beautiful people have the capacity to see the beauty within others. Far too many of us have not cultivated this skill. For those who have, a weed growing in the wild is a marvel of texture and color. A young black man wearing baggy pants is a potential CEO. A woman with curves is admired for the way she fills out her dress. A Muslim woman wearing a face veil is respected for her sense of reserve.

Often, I write my columns at Starbucks, where the bigger the size of your drink, the sexier the lingo: tall is small, grande is medium and venti is large. Whenever I order a tall, I feel rather ordinary. So if I am having a marvelous day, I step up and order a venti coffee. So, you see size matters.

One day, a European American man in the shop struck up a conversation with me. We chatted about a range of issues, and when he felt comfortable, he ventured to ask: Why are black women so much fatter than white women? Don’t they realize that men don’t find that attractive?”

Cultural explanations unfortunately are not easily reduced to coffeehouse sound bites. There was much to say, but too little time. I so wanted to talk to him about the way he phrased his question, which would have irritated more than a few enlightened patrons.

I said simply: “Oh that has not been my experience. The majority of men I have dated appreciate curvier women. There are cultural differences here that are worthy of consideration. Perhaps your cultural lens is negatively shaping your view of black women? Would you be willing to consider that possibility?”

Now some readers might wonder why I would mention such an incident. It is one guy and one opinion. Well, consider that research shows that people described as physically attractive are often associated by others with a host of desirable characteristics such as warmth, kindness and the potential for success.

This in turn provides them with an advantage. In other words, a person’ physical appearance can profoundly affect the course of her or his life. This makes little sense to a nation facing market challenges and super-sized political issues. When it is so essential that we put our best foot forward should we worry this much about whether the leg carrying the foot is shapely or not?

So, the next time someone tries to impose their standard of beauty on you, send him or her polite e-mail that suggests, ever so gently, that their words may have unintended consequences. Tell the pundits that they must be held to account for the damage they do.