Cultural Literacy: It's Far, Far Better For Us to Listen and Learn

Dear Cultural Coach:
I'm Hispanic, and it bothers me when people interrupt my conversation to mention that their third cousin once dated a Latina or their son visited Puerto Rico on his last vacation. I don't really care, and I don't understand why they think I should.
- Too much information

Dear TMI:
Talking about things we know little or nothing about almost always lands us in a danger zone. The wrong words seem to fly right out of our mouths when we are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with a people or culture. In such circumstances, education is our ally; and ignorance is our foe.

Each of us needs our own personal team of coaches to help us identify the right questions, and avoid the ones that can land us on the front page of our hometown newspaper. The Cultural Coach has asked a few Hispanics to help identify common mistakes and missteps:

  1. "But I don't really think of you as being Hispanic/Latino." While this may appear to be a compliment, it actually implies second-class status. Would you tell a member of the National Society Daughters of the American Revolution, "I don't really think of you as being American?"
  2. "Is English your second language?" A Latina friend recently asked why it is that Americans only seem to ask this question of people who speak Spanish. Alas, I don't know. Why don't we ever dare to ask the French, "Is English your second language?"
  3. "You speak English very well." Let the English teachers and supervisors grade language abilities and skills. Let the rest of us exercise our right to remain silent.
  4. "You're Latino and you can't speak Spanish? Yes, and while some third-generation Italians speak Italian, others do not. It depends upon the family and the degree of acculturation and ethnic identity.
  5. "Do you want to come over my house for dinner? We're making tacos." Assume that not all Hispanics like tacos, not all Irish eat stew, not all Italians live for spaghetti, and not all Americans think hot dogs are yummy. Such statements indicate to others you acquire cultural intelligence from TV.
  6. Never speak slowly and/or assume that someone who is a member of an ethnic group cannot understand English. When you sense anyone - an aging parent, a child, or friend- is having difficulty following a conversation, then say, "I tend to be a fast (or quiet) talker. Is the pace (or volume) suitable for everyone? If not I'll slow down (talk louder)."
  7. "I like Jennifer Lopez" If you are white, would you want all the people of color who like Bruce Springsteen to walk up to you daily and tell you? After awhile, this gets tedious. Convey this information only if it is pertinent to the conversation.
  8. Don't assume when a Latino family moves into the neighborhood, their cousins, uncles, and distant relatives will move in with them. We tout family values, and then ask our city fathers to pass laws keeping members of the same family from living together under the same roof. We are a complex society, indeed.
  9. "Person of color" Some Latinos, especially those who are white, have problems being lumped into the catch-all phrase "communities of color."
  10. "The transformation of Latino culture into jingles and cartoon characters" In 1971, my high school classmates sang the Frito Bandito jingle prompting our Hispanic Spanish teacher to flee the room in tears. When we are culturally literate, we respect cultural traditions and customs. When we are ignorant, we behave in ways that inform others how much we do not know.