Getting Along With Others Is Easy Once You Start Changing Yourself

Philadelphia, PA - One of the most important lessons Linda S. Wallace ever learned unfolded on a Dallas, Texas street corner while she waited with neighborhood children for the school bus to arrive.

An education reporter, Ms. Wallace had been assigned to ride with the fourth-to sixth-graders as they were bused from the housing projects to an affluent elementary school in North Dallas. While she was chatting with the children a man who smelled of alcohol strolled up to her and made lewd comments. She stood silently, her eyes lowered, as child whispered, "Lady is that man bothering you?" "Yes," she replied." The young boy walked over to the man to speak with him. He nodded, shook his head and walked away.

"These young children from the inner-city stood there looking at me kindly, as a rich child might look at a poor child without food," Ms. Wallace said. "I could tell they were thinking, '"We hope this lady makes it through the rest of the school day.'"

"That evening, as I thought about the kids, I realized how wrong it was that journalists so often portray these children's weaknesses but rarely their strengths. I pledged to be more balanced in my reporting and to learn how to be more culturally competent."

As she set out upon this crusade, Ms. Wallace at first did nearly every thing the wrong way. She criticized potential allies. She attacked co-workers before she had tried to share her ideas She looked for the all the colleagues doing things wrong but not for all the colleagues doing things right.

"I lacked the research I needed to persuade others that each of us wears cultural filters and those filters do us great harm when they distort our view," she said. "I decided to study, read, and ask for feedback from others on my strategies and techniques."

"Rather than tell people where they should be, I shared mistakes they might wish to avoid," she said. ". "Sharing mistakes brings us instant credibility, and it let's others know that in matters of diversity, we don't have to perfect. We just have to try. Making serious errors in judgment does not necessarily make us racists or sexists," she said 'It may simply indicate that we lack the knowledge we need to make an informed choice."

Sharing mistakes brings us instant credibility. The Cultural Coach let's others know that, in matters of diversity, we don't have to be perfect. We just have to try."

Now published weekly in the feature sections of The Houston Chronicle and the Fort-Wayne News-Sentinel, this unusual advice column offers a kinder, gentler approach to issues related to race, ethnicity, physical disabilities, sexual orientation and gender.

It seeks to advance the diversity dialogue by raising the level of cultural competency and cultural literacy among readers and community groups. The column's tone is light, often humorous, and always sincere. "Trying to hide our prejudices is a bit like sweeping the crumbs under the dining room table so guests will think our home is clean," Ms. Wallace advised a reader who claimed she would hide her prejudices. "Sooner or later, a speck is going to get out and expose us. As word of our dishonesty spreads, people of all colors will be less likely to trust us, long after we cleaned house."

Her homespun strategies for dealing with sexual harassers are mom-approved. "The next time your boss asks you out, thank him or her for the invitation and ask if you can bring along your boyfriend," she advises. "Say pleasantly, 'I've told my boyfriend a lot about my conversations with you, and he certainly is anxious to meet you. Have I mentioned that he is a staff member at the EEOC?"

The Cultural Coach has built a loyal following of readers who praise its conversational style. "You tackle some of the most difficult, controversial, and heated topics of our day, with grace and dignity," a Houston Chronicle reader wrote. "Your tone seems to give us all room to be human and make mistakes on race, gender, and sexual orientation and other issues of diversity, while encouraging us all to keep learning and growing."

A veteran journalist who has worked for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Commercial Appeal in Memphis, the Dallas Times-Herald and the Philadelphia Inquirer, Ms. Wallace launched LSW Communications, a Philadelphia, Pa.-based intercultural training firm, in 1996. The company assists educational institutions, non-profits and businesses in framing and pitching important messages to multiethnic communities.

Ms. Wallace's columns have appeared in the Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The Portland Oregonian, and the Columbia Journalism Review. In her opinion pieces, she often takes aim at the "tutors of tolerance" who seek conformity in thought though they promote inclusiveness. "Freedom does not require conformity; rather, it requires the skills to disagree in productive ways and the faith that, in the end, it will turn out all right," counters Ms. Wallace.

She also facilitates workshops on cultural competency that support participants in building cultural competency and gaining deeper insights into the cultural lenses that often shade their views. In June, 2003, she was the opening speaker at the Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism's annual Workshop on Race, Ethnicity and Media.